I Can’t Wait Until I Can Tell Someone What You’re Telling Me…
The trend on Twitter right now, #tweetyour16yearoldself, inspired me tonight. This trend could not be more relevant to my life. It made me realize I’ve always been that person that can’t wait until I stop going through what I’m going through, and just make it out on the other end. And on the other side, I envision myself telling the person that’s going through exactly what I’m going through, “you’ll be okay. Everything ends up working out.”
As a freshmen, a little 18-year old dreamer going to an out-of-state to college, with no friends, no clue, and more nerves than my stomach could handle, all I could think about was my boyfriend. I had just broken up with him. I was in Colorado, he was in Boston. My first love, my first heart break, my first…well you can guess the rest.
Luckily, my snowboard loving, punk rock listening, girlie girl of a roommate, (all contradictions, I know), ended up being my crying partner in crime. We bonded immediately the first day after spilling our guts about how much we hated and loved our high school boyfriends. For months, we cried and cried, and talked and talked and hashed and re-hashed. Every night I would tell her, “I can’t wait until I’m the girl telling my friend who is crying about her ex-boyfriend that it will be okay. One day you will just get over it. You WILL move on.”
And I did move on. It may have taken a while, but it happened, and when it did, I felt so…free. I now find myself talking to girlfriends who are going through the same thing, the same pain that can only be described as someone turning and turning the knife around in your back until you one day you finally just don’t care anymore. Turn that knife baby, that dazzler isn’t even sharp.
As many times as people told me “it just takes time,” I slowly threw up in my mouth a little as I told myself “Ugh, SO cliche!” But now, I’m gonna do it. IT JUST TAKES TIME.
The same thing goes for my job. I’m minty fresh, as new as they come in the working world. I’m still building relationships, finding my niche, learning who I am, where I fit, and what marketing means to me. When I see people a little bit older than me who are thriving, have moved up in their positions and seem to have it all together, I tell myself “I can’t wait until I’m the one giving the new graduate advice and telling her she will do great. She will make it through.”
I constantly catch myself forcing my heart to live in the moment , while my mind wishes I were living in the easier moment. The later moment when everything is all settled, when I’m successful, well-known, understood, and unwaveringly confident…
As much as I’d like to fast forward, It’s not going to happen. But, going through the hard part, is the only way to get to the other side.
I seriously love…love.